Hello to all the future loyal readers out there! It’s a beautiful morning (even if it should happen to be raining). I’m not trying to push my good mood through your socks here, but it’s just how I feel.
If you’re looking for trouble and freedom, no safety and definitely no peace, you’ve come to the right place. The crazy editors pity you.
The World’s greatest newspaper will feature a wild brew of (gallows) humor and serious articles. The trick as always, is to know which is which, what is what. Tick tack, tack, tick.
We call for crazy and mad as hell people all over the world to contribute to this and upcoming editions. There will be absolutely no editing. Our officious editor(s) will publish any manuscript unedited or not at all.
There’s no salary. (except for the occasionally very satisfying heartbeat the writer will feel by seeing hers or his mad rantings published for all the world to see and hopefully there will be a gathering of «like minded» people, from many other mundane tribes).
You may also send pictures or illustrations as attachments. They should not be more or much more than 10 kb’s, please. Use reduced Jpg for pictures and Gif for headlines and/or buttoms, etc. If you yourself want to write everything in HTML, that’s more than okay. It saves us a lot of work.
We’ll focus on acts of subversion and rebellion and all the zillion extremely good reasons for it. But except support of racism, nationalism and other forms of intolerance we’ll basically accept anything that walks, shit and fuck.
By the way, you should not look for hidden messages and agendas in absolutely everything. Good, clean fun may have stopped being fashionable several thousand years ago, but we, stubborn as we are, practice it still.
What follows is a selected list of our sponsors (there are many more), which in not a small part, has been instrumental in making us what we are today, and who we can hardly do without:
Gro Harlem Brundtland, Helmut Kohl, Gerard Schroeder, Jacques Chrirac, Lionel Jospin, Margaret Thatcher, Tony Blair, Kenneth Starr, Saddam Hussein, Vicki Frost, Jesse Helms, Geir Erik Stokke... the farmers, the diligent ant - like city people, who contribute equally to society and civilization, all the known and unknown climbers and slaves out there, and all their representatives, big and small. (Bill Clinton was on this list, but we've removed him, the poor fella has actually suffered enough).
And corporations and other vile acts against Nature and Life in general: Shell, Philip Morris, Toyota, Sony, General Motors, WTO, The Copex Arms Fair, Steinar Bastesen & co, all forms of genetic enginering, road builders and all the representatives, big and small, of "the establishment". Thank you, guys and gals, you take such good care of us. As to why each of these have made it to the major list... Well, if you're very curious you might wanna inquire to this qourom about it.
It will be updated frequently and unfortunately and definitely always lack an untold number of names. In the name of god, king (president) and fatherland (motherland), on behalf of all the countless victims, for the many good things they’ve done for humanity, the planet and life on Earth in general...
But remember: Don’t let us be too hard on the poor souls. They’re obviously just janitors, caretakers of a venture gone insane long ago. Of course, they’re responsible for their action, we all are, but nothing will be solved by solely attacking them. At best, it’s sidetracking at its worst.
Thank you for and good morning
The irresponsible editor
The sorcerer you need.
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